We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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