can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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