she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
