She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
