Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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