Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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