How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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