Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
