this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
