margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
