there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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