found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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