like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
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Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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