why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
