So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It all started with a game of naked twister.