Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?

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  (270): Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house? http://tfl.nu/tnd3
  Replies (30) Good night (9331) Bad night (763)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.

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  (719): You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job. http://tfl.nu/yqtc
  Replies (19) Good night (3427) Bad night (1485)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.

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  (850): We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it. http://tfl.nu/y27d
  Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (2982)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

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  (715): Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out. http://tfl.nu/yvz7
  Replies (13) Good night (2824) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl

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  (682): He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl http://tfl.nu/krho
  Replies (2) Good night (1509) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Lets just say I chased with a burrito.

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  (513): Lets just say I chased with a burrito. http://tfl.nu/8s3e
  Replies (4) Good night (924) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Drink for every country you've never heard of.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Fuuuuuuuuuck

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  (815): Drink for every country you've never heard of. (630): Fuuuuuuuuuck http://tfl.nu/g5f9
  Replies (9) Good night (2797) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed

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  (660): He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/yvvk
  Replies (8) Good night (1291) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.

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  (509): This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats. http://tfl.nu/orv1
  Replies (4) Good night (760) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.

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  (312): I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/kiyu
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.

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  (940): Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night. http://tfl.nu/76za
  Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?

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  (310): Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year? http://tfl.nu/vjf5
  Replies (3) Good night (774) Bad night (443)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.

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  (505): He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/ihkb
  Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.

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  (765): I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community. http://tfl.nu/6jel
  Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour

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  (775): She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour http://tfl.nu/ppge
  Replies (0) Good night (265) Bad night (370)

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