Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  did i?

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  (732): you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?" (1-732): did i? http://tfl.nu/syum
  Replies (33) Good night (7792) Bad night (875)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake

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  (501): he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake http://tfl.nu/mrvl
  Replies (21) Good night (4346) Bad night (914)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I swear god or herbie drove my car home

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  (912): I swear god or herbie drove my car home http://tfl.nu/eanl
  Replies (34) Good night (5114) Bad night (1060)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.

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  (360): kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight. http://tfl.nu/tvlr
  Replies (5) Good night (3680) Bad night (625)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.

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  (775): My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful. http://tfl.nu/tk77
  Replies (23) Good night (2037) Bad night (5650)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE

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  (904): He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE http://tfl.nu/khu1
  Replies (20) Good night (1151) Bad night (3615)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.

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  (360): Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building. http://tfl.nu/uuvc
  Replies (4) Good night (824) Bad night (2681)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.

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  (304): He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect. http://tfl.nu/54k7
  Replies (15) Good night (6020) Bad night (989)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.

  (512): View more from Texas

  That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.

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  (254): There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option. (512): That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too. http://tfl.nu/lz3p
  Replies (9) Good night (2965) Bad night (1253)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life

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  (412): My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life http://tfl.nu/dsvt
  Replies (25) Good night (1822) Bad night (760)
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  (818): View more from California

  Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.

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  (818): Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC. http://tfl.nu/yps0
  Replies (9) Good night (2098) Bad night (506)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.

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  (904): The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins. http://tfl.nu/2pe6
  Replies (7) Good night (884) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  But he was really hot

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Glad you don't have HIV

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  (425): I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again (1-425): But he was really hot (1-425): Glad you don't have HIV http://tfl.nu/se36
  Replies (4) Good night (455) Bad night (917)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"

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  (613): Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie" http://tfl.nu/n4uh
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (327)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.

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  (918): I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time. http://tfl.nu/atlw
  Replies (1) Good night (764) Bad night (322)

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