Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk

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(905): View more from Ontario

while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"

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(856): View more from New Jersey

She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter

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(719): View more from Colorado

Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.

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(303): View more from Colorado

These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards

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(720): View more from Colorado

He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available

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