Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
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He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
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Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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