Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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