I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
