I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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