Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
