he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
barbara walters just said penis...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
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Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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