That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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