Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
