Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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