im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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