So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
