yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Randomize
