He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
