Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
