Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
false alarm, still single
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
