I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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