Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
