did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
