She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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