Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Randomize
