apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
