so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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