Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
