Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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