her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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