Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
