i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
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I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
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I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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