bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
