No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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