She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
