Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
