you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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