Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
