Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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