If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Let the clothes fall where they may.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
