I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
