I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
