No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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