girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
tell me about the eggs
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