i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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