We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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