you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
