I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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