I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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