Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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