Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
