He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
