guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
