Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Farmville is her only friend.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
