biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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