i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
two words...techno handjob
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
