I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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